life changes

Last night was a testimony to how much my life has changed. I am a mother to a nine-month old boy. Life before that was carefree--all I had to think about was myself. I could spend or not spend at my whim without having to think of consequences to others. Today, I find myself withholding on myself as things for Javo are now paramount--his milk, his diapers, his health, his comfort.

I sit here typing with half an ear towards the room in case he wakes up. His yaya is sick and getting well and so his care falls to me. The night before as I was caring for him, I had to take a work-related call and looking for someone to turn him over to was an experience. So was the panic yesterday when I received a text message about a meeting at 10:30--it was 10:30 and I was still in my home clothes--with no yaya and Martin had left on an errand. It's a good thing someone was able to take him while Martin was gone.

I'm new to this--this pull between home and work. I know my baby comes first but what about my responsibility to the office. But then again, what about my responsibility to my family?