Javo's world

Javo’s world is rich in play.
The electric fan becomes a canon and he is a soldier firing at his enemies.
His baseball bat turns into an old man’s cane and with a limp in his leg, Javo becomes an old man.
When the mood strikes him, this same bat becomes his microphone used for singiing or interviewing other children.
Javo is my teacher.
He shows me how ordinary objects bring fun and transform an ordinary day into a special one.
He shows me how to be—jumping from one activity after another with his whole heart.
He shows me how to be friendly—welcoming strangers with his wide smile and open arms.

Play with your children and listen to what they have to give you.

Loving Javo

Javo just left for school. He has been home the past few days due to a bad cold and his doctor's advise to rest. I am happy he loves the school and his teachers. When his bus service arrives, he goes to the gate running although always remembers to tell us he loves us. He once came back from the gate because he forgot to tell papi he loved him.

I marvel at his energy, his curiosity, his sensitivity, his determination--sometimes they get me exasperated, exhausted, frustrated, and angry--but most of the time I just love watching him at play and listening to his conversation. When he is excited, his words are all strung up together and come out gibberish. His brain must be going a mile a minute. I have to slow him down so that his words become legible and I can understand him. He becomes frustrated when he is not understood and sometimes gives up. When he does this, I ask him to try once more because mommy is trying to understand him too.

I love the look in his eyes when I finally get him. I love it when his face reflects his excitement, his wonder at something new, his anger, and all the other emotions he feels. I take it to mean he feels safe enough with me that he can express them openly.

One of the many things I have learned from parenting expert, Maribel Sison Dionisio, is that we must be our child's greatest cheerleader and catch them doing good instead of catch them doing bad. I am learning that emphasis should be on the positive and not the negative. The negatives can be corrected silently.

Motherhood for me has been one great adventure after another with pitfalls and unexpected curves but unconditional love will always see us through.

Pride in the Azkal team

The Azkal-Kuwait game is currently being replayed. We just finished watching the one goal our team made and the feeling of euphoria and pride was just as strong as when we first saw it during the live game last night.

We brought Javo to watch the football game together with his cousins. The atmosphere of watching a live game is more electric and brings out pride in our nation.

Rizal Memorial Stadium was full despite the rains and threat of downpours. We came ready with our raincoats and Martin's trapal from the market. Just as we were leaving the house to go to Rizal, the rain poured--giving us warning of what might be ahead. When we got there, it was like a carnival with entrepreneurs opening their trunks and selling all kinds of paraphernalia for the game. Of course the big sponsors were there with all kinds of items to be given away or sold. One could feel the excitement and anticipation all around. People were walking to their gates and looking for friends to go in together.

Cheers and screams in support of our team could be heard throughout the game. The loudest of course came when that goal was done. Our team did their best and gave us a great game. All the attempts and near-goals were proof of that. We just slowly build up our teamwork and one day we will get there.

Javo and his relationship with loli and lala

I left Javo this morning to supervise a photo shoot. He was throwing a tantrum because he couldn't watch the movie he wanted and we couldn't go and buy the gifts for his classmates's party. Somehow Martin was able to handle it and they had a peaceful day.

On picking me up this afternoon Martin tells me that Javo and lala had this long conversation going on. I am happy about that because this peace between them took some work and adjustment. As Javo's personality is different from his cousins, it took mom quite a while to understand and understand how to relate to him. I believe they finally have a cool relationship going on.

Javo's relationship to loli is something else althogether. Despite the many bribes of candy, chocolates and whatever else he wants to eat, Javo still refuses to go with him or kiss him.

Mom told me that one of their conversations was about his refusal to go with Dad. When asked why, he told lala that loli's voice is loud.

I so get Javo because I myself become anxious when faced with a loud person--whether loud as in a booming voice or just loud as in obnoxious personality. My heart beats anxiously and my instinct is to get away from that person as fast as I can.

The best way to deal with us is to be calm and peaceful. We cannot give of ourselves because all we want to do is get away from the presence that troubles us.

Master chef Javo and school baon

Javo continues to enjoy school. He looks forward to going to his "other" school--OLL--located near the house but farther than Alres (his school the past year). He enjoys his time with Teacher Osam (Osang) and his friends and classmates.

OLL has made school transitioning easy for the young ones and the first time students by having them come in on a staggered basis and on short time spans for the first two weeks. Today was the first time he had snack time. He goes to school 11am-130pm but had class till 1pm today. So snack is lunch...

What to bring though. Javo has always had his own sense of taste. We survived on furikake (the Japanese rice toppings) and nori on rice for the first few years. He then moved on to peanut butter as a constant fallback (peanut butter with rice and olive oil). He would sometimes eat galunggong complete with its head or barbecue if his taste buds wanted them.

Worried about his eating habits and his being way underweight, I would ask my Tita Sani Orbeta for advise on what to give. She said as long as he ate something, was active and wasn't losing weight he was fine. She also said that kids love soft food so rice with soup--he would sometimes take that. Although clear soup is more to his liking. He would rather eat vegetables than meat. I recently discovered that bola-bola of miswa is fine too.

He is currently into bread toast with butter, sugar and syrup. That is one of his favorites and has replaced peanut butter and furikake as a constant. His food repertoire has increased to include hotdog, bacon, pancake, chocnut, and chocolate cake. Chicken is also on his list--boiled and not fried. He also likes shabu-shabu.

Going back to baon, I asked him what he wanted to bring for baon today. He said rice, butter, olive oil and peanuts. Peanuts! I didn't have those around. There was casoy so I looked for that. Unfortunately it could not be found. Since he likes parmesan cheese, I put that instead. I had him try it before finally closing the container to make sure he would eat it. "Sawap mommy!" was my reaction to the concoction. After preparing that we found the casoy so he had rice, butter, olive oil, parmesan cheese, and casoy for baon today.

Having to deal with his eating habits, I read some books on picky eaters. They all said not to worry too much as kids know how much food they can take. My doctors also advised speech therapy as his oral development may also be part of the cause for his eating habits.

My Javo also refuses to be called pare or mister or any other name. He will only answer to Javo except when you call him Master Chef Javo. Maybe his taste buds will lead him somewhere after all.

Looking for Marla

In an effort to understand myself, my reactions to situations, my relationship with my child, my husband and the rest of the world, I have discovered that we develop personas that help us cope with life. I found this out through the various personal transformation workshops I have been attending since 2005.

This persona appeared while we were children, growing up in an adult world and life would sometimes bring us situations which we could not understand. It appeared to help us cope with the situations that come our way. I discovered that I deal with life by disappearing or hiding from what is happening around me.

This hiding comes in the form of denial of talents, of procrastinating when I am faced with a nasty situation, and anxiety when surrounded by a room full of strangers among many others.

Every once in a while though, this Marla who was "born to shine a light on the world" (paraphrased from Marianne Williamson's words) insists on being noticed. She comes out when I face my fears head on and come out triumphant. She appeared when I lived in Spain for a year. She appears each time I agree to speak in front of an audience.

She is here now when I finally acknowledged that writing is my Godgiven talent and one way for me to shine a light in the world. I always thought that one had to be visual to be creative and so I always complained of my inability to draw, to do crafts, to imagine pictures in my head the way others would.

Marla the writer has been waiting to be acknowledged. She pushed her way out today by insisting on writing about her journey of discovery. I finally acknowledge that writing is my gift. That it was given to me together with my ability to dissect my inner life and my willingness to share of my journey with others. This is my way of letting my light show.

It is an exciting journey, one worth taking and living.

Javo goes to school

Javo turned four years old last April--with that comes another milestone--the beginning of school. Although he has been going to "school" this past year with his speech and occupational therapists, this is his first year in formal school.

When I first brought him to the school of our choice last April, his face held a mix of emotions. Excitement at the thought of going to a new school and anxiety at the thought of being left alone. I had informed him that we would take him to school and then pick him up when he was done--that we would not wait in school.

Seeing his reaction, I found various ways to introduce to him the concept of school--through the children's books at home on going to school and pointing out how all his cousins went to school by themselves. I would talk to him about school every now and then and would get the same reaction--excitement and anxiety.

The week before classes began, I still had the same reaction from him. But suddenly a few days before we started he told me, "I will go to school by myself. No papi and no mommy." I was so happy about that attitude reversal but was still prepared to stay in case he changed his mind.

The day of school arrived. He could not wait till his class began and so he was ready at 8am for his 11am class. I told him that we would bring him in that day because his bag was heavy with the school requirements. We ate a heavy merienda at 10am and left for school at 1030am. True enough, after a few minutes in the school premises and trying the different playground equipment, he bids us goodbye.

What is a mom to do except go away as requested. So Martin and I left him in the capable hands of his teacher. I left happy that he had chosen to be left on his own and felt like crying because he was growing up so fast. My independent toddler is now an independent preschooler.

We went back to school early so that we would be there when his class came out. They came out in a straight line single file. My boy was all smiles and clearly enjoyed his first day in school! This is just the beginning of what I hope would be a great experience for him.